I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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