Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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