I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I could make wine with my vomit
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
