margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize