I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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