Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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