I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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