i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
