and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
