Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
