My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
