i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
