Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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