Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
