why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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