Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
