I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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