you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
