white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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