So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
