i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
