Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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