Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
