sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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