I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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