i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
