Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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