I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He did a backflip because drugs
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