I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
