You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
