he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
