guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you win again, gameday.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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