I have demons in me.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
