i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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