my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
my liver is dry heaving
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
