Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
