Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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