Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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