it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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