Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
