she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
