she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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