What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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