He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
