I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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