scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
