Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
