everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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