I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
