totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
